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Tuesday 3 June 2014
I feel so awkward with blog titles so nope not putting any. Okay, so I've been feeling so frustrated recently. I am so easily frustrated and I get so pissed so easily OMG. And after thinking about it, I figured that the only explanation for this phenomenon is that I am under-performing. Feeling like an insecure piece of crap every single day. You have no idea how much I fear having to retain. Especially now that I've gotten what I've wanted for quite some time. If I were to retain, it'll only mean that everything will be revoked from me and i'll end up having to restart. But this new start will never be the same for it's no longer a "start" it's a "restart", and that sucks. I do not want that. But the problem is I am not a very intelligent person, neither am I a very handworking person. How do I expect myself to do well? I don't understand so many things. I told myself I'll use this holiday to catch up, but look at me now, 4 days into the holiday and I've accomplished nothing. Gosh this is so so bad it has to stop. I need help. But it's almost as if I am so bad I don't even know how to get help. The teachers will prolly scream at me and tell me that it's my fault for not paying attention, and then ask me what the fuck have I been doing for the past semester. Omg. Really now. So stressed. Too stressed. Headache. |