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Wednesday, 3 December 2014
insanity
There are days where I just hate everything and everybody because I just feel like life is so fucking unfair. I mean, I've always known that life is unfair, but when I think about it, I really do not like it. I hate feeling this way. I really hate it. I hate it when I feel worthless, because nobody in this fucking world deserves to ever feel this way. I hate how I always feel as if I have nothing on this earth. I've always thought about this, when people are always ranting about their life, saying how bad it is, I'll just compare them to myself. And most of the time, I just realize that even though they're not happy with one aspect of life, they do have other aspects of life that they can be happy and satisfied with. Then I'll start feeling hella bad for myself. I mean, I don't have the looks, the body, the money, the brain, the friends. What do I have? Like really. When I say I don't have friends, I don't mean I literally don't have friends, it just so happen that I don't think I have that kind of friends that'll be like, y'know? A soulmate. Maybe my expectations are high? But I don't quite think so, there's so many people around me that can have such friends, why can't I? 知足常乐, 但是我就是不会知足。。And I tend to get jealous of people very easily. And that's so damn bad. I'm trying to change into a better person. I know I can do it. I must also really work hard and learn how to say no to people. |